Wrapping up my Second Year in Bachelor of Chemical Engineering’s First Semester in Curtin University of Technology Sarawak for the year 2007, it was not even close to a breeze of the wind. It was full of bumps, hills and even mountains to conquer. It was bitter-sweet time of my life.
It started of me pumped up gearing for the new semester of second year. Started off the semester pretty relaxed and smooth. Met up with a lot of new friends this semester and this bunch of people are so cool and not mentioning super nice? I’m glad to have spent the semester with these great bunch! It’s their first semester but it seems like they are so familiar with the places in Miri that you never would thought they were new students.
And the most important thing of all, THEY LOVE GOD ! ^^ Praise God!
Like always in the beginning of the semester VCF would be busy planning and preparing activities and planning the program for the movement of the whole semester. Getting schedule done so it wouldn’t be a distraction to our studies. Finding speakers and organizing teams for camps. We had a VCF Life Camp this semester! It was in Niah Cave. Yes… Again! But we went with a different bunch of people! So it was a whole different experience! However, it was to disappointment to some of the participants as we did not get to explore the caves due to some renovations of the pathways. Oh well, there is always next time right? ^^ No worries! The cave is not running away! The only possibility is the bats moving ‘house’ ! =P~
The ‘hard-to-forget’ or ‘always-remembered’ scene of the whole camp was the part when my team were presenting a skid in front of everyone during talent night. I had all the parts of the skid in the tiny brain of mine and so we rehearsed for a couple of times. However during the actual night….. Lance who was supposed to be King Saul had only one line in the skid as he was a bit too nervous or not to keen about skids. He was supposed to introduce himself to the crowd as King Saul. But he blew it!!!! Hahaha!
..................................................Skid begins..........................................................
Lance : *Hits his rod on the floor to order guards away of his sight*
****** Guards moved away ******
Lance : ………………..
Guard1(Manda): Introduce yourself….
Lance : Ok ok..
Lance : ……………..
Guard1(Manda): Say you are King Saul…. ‘I am King Saul!’
Lance : *nods*
Lance : I THINK SO !!!
****** Crowd laughed like mad ******
It was classic mannn.. I would never forget this skid ever!
The camp was soon over and studies continued like norm.
During the holidays, Robert agreed with me to see a doctor for his injured knee. It turns out that he needed to undergo a surgery as he had an ACL injury where his ligament was torn. We made an appointment with the doctor that the surgery to be performed after the Life Camp, which he claimed to be his last activity. We had a one week break for our midterm examinations. We took the opportunity to put the surgery appointment there so at least we are free from timetables.
On the morning of the surgery day, we got up early as Robert says he wants to have something before the operation. But generally we are not supposed to take in any food before a surgery, it’s a procedure. In the end we decided to rest a little while longer as the surgery was appointed at 8 a.m. The journey there was a bit upsetting for me as I recalled the time when my sister was in the hospital. I hate surgeries and anesthesia! I mean who likes it? T_T It’s scary!
I know football means a lot to Robert. I worry that he might not be able to play football anymore because the doctor did mention about the varying results of the surgery.
When he came out from the operation theatre, his face was so pale from the blood loss. Half conscious, I can see that he was in pain. It was a painful sight to watch.
Hmmm.. Let’s skip the whole hospital story.
Praise God that he is alright now! ^^
Lectures.. Tutorials.. Lectures.. Tutorials…Lectures.. Tutorials.. Lectures…Tutorials…I totally don’t get anything from these two this whole semester. I mean I really really cannot catch up with the lessons. How am I to pass examinations? My friends were struggling too but they were alright and needed time of their own to save their studies. I really lost hope this semester and my heart says I would never make it this semester. I need to prepare myself to let everything go and accept failure. I need to have courage, stand up and learn from my past and failure. The pressure was too big to take that I broke down and lost myself. I threw my books away and led myself to tears and screams.
What have I been doing this whole semester?
Why didn’t I concentrate on my studies?
What was my focus?
What did I want that I neglected my studies?
Where is my self-discipline?
Why am I so useless and dependent?
Why am I like this?
Why?
I told myself… There is no time left. It takes a miracle to pass exams.
There is no time left. There is no time left… There is really no time left…
I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I tried to study but I ended up crying.
That point of my life, I felt
lunatic. I felt like I was about to do something stupid.
It made me neglect God’s presence in my life. I felt like hope was gone.
What should I pray for now?
Everyone kept encouraging me to continue on. There is still hope. And that I should pray for guidance and courage. I am sorry to have neglected those words from the beginning.
At the end of the day when exam approached, I turned to God and asked for His guidance and care. I didn’t want to attend the examination. I didn’t even want to go to the exam hall. But I prayed that morning. And asked God to be there with me and help me do my best. To write whatever I can. If I were to fail, please Father give me strength to carry on and comfort me. I went through examinations without really going through my books. I depended on God fully and slept well all those four nights.
Exam soon ended and everyone was out from stress. For once in my life in Curtin, I couldn’t feel happy after exams. It felt so normal to me while everyone started jumping in joy. I felt really sad that I could not have those feelings because I did not work hard this semester. T_T I did not want to celebrate with my course mates because there was nothing worth celebrating for. That’s for me. Went straight home and slept.
Like a secret love letter or a diary, I kept my problem under the pillow for the time being. Honestly, I do not want to be lunatic nor do I want to lose my sanity. I do not want to live a life where it is empty and without joy. I know my problems cannot be hid forever under my pillow but let me prepare myself Abba Father to overcome this. I need all the courage I can get, all the strength and all the endurance. Hope is there because You are there.
I trusted God with all my heart in my exams and He blessed me.
Thank you DAD! ^^
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