t i r e d

I will not retaliate any longer.. nor will I ask you to stay....

My heart is so tired that its heartbeat interprets no meaning....

Every night before I sleep, I tell myself it's okay... Tomorrow will be a better day...

I guess Tomorrow will never come... our Tomorrow will never come...

Things no longer feel the same... You are not the same...

So I guess its time to move on ...

I will move on....

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Rush 'MINUTES'..Drive AEROPLANE!

6th day of work..

Marks the worst day! Heard from yesterday, the regional manager of Miri was going to be

around..Better be early and make a good impression! To the horror, I saw the locks on the gate

that seemed so huge! What makes it huge it is because my CAR is LOCKED inside

there! How am I gonna teleport my car out from there? It’s 7.50 a.m. already!

Tried calling some people whom I thought could help me out BUT they switched OFF their

phones! Even him. Of all times! Felt so hopeless that I just wanna walk across the road

without looking… Time is ticking but who’s to care? ONLY ME!!!

The jam was freaking LONG ! And cars were damn SLOW ! Feel like ramming all the

cars or just stop the engine in the middle of the road and just SLEEP!

With that level of stress, it is gonna drive me insane one day! Now what is the use of

leaving a spare time of 45 minutes before departing to your work place when you meet with

BAD LUCK?

My answer is… NO USE!

JUST KILL ME

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VCF 9th Anniversary!

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Blood Donation

Blood donation drive by CV! Thanks to CV! and donors for choosing to save a live today!
Personally I thank CV! for carrying out this activity giving me the opportunity to donate my blood without any hassle! =P

Enough sleep and enough vitamins is really essential before thinking about donating your blood.
Because of last night's lack of sleep seeing your blood draining from your veins is not your most favorite thing to see.

My energy is all drained.

*those who I've told will know why...*

huhuhu T_T

Somebody saveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee me.... !!

-Smallville-

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The Little Grain of Sugar

Have you the feeling of a little grain of sugar in your mouth when all you've tasted before were all just plain water?

Are you that little grain of sugar in someone else's life?

I know I was...

Once..

but...

an indescribable hurt has caused my heart to bleed..

when you feel like there is someone who you could really trust..

think again.....

I once thought that a relationship could work if it was based on trust..
Letting your partner have the freedom he wants, because you know at the end of the day it was all worth it.. For everything will be alright because you can trust him..

However, I am sad to tell you..
That...its not helping...
but it just gives your partner an 'easy-access pathway' to betray you...
to come up with situations that hurt you...

love can be simple but the complicated ones.....
are the one people are interested in....
if you're under that category...
don't bother to be my friend....

your partner can do all these in a carefree manner...

because...

afterall in the end, he knows you will trust him...

When it happens to you, first you feel like wanting to make him feel so bad inside almost like a feeling of knives going through his heart because that doesn't even compare to what you feel right now...

but if your love surpasses all these feelings in a matter of time...

you will never have the heart and I say again never... have the heart to hurt him like what he did to you..

why hurt two hearts at the same time? and why hurt someone you love?
is there any gain from it?

for love has no vengeance..

Please... someone tell me.. that this pain will go away...
and when will I forget all these that has happened to me....so I can move on to another day..
I don't want to be trapped in this pain...




Am I still that little grain of sugar of yours?

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Pulse

My blog is certified dead. I know! Hehe! But I’m here to give it some pulse and hope it keeps running!

The semester has finally comes to its end. Results are out and new semester is beginning pretty soon!

The semester was pretty challenging. Speaking in terms of education and emotions. Assignments, projects and tests hits in like a never-ending flow. As soon as the finals leap off of my schedule, I had to plan a surprise birthday and also a farewell.

Oja’s birthday has always been my after final examination agenda. It was all good, hope she was surprised as the two guys who were leaving us, Jeffery and Michael. Will miss you guys tonnes!

On the 20^th June, I flew to Peninsular with Oguchi-chan! We had a great laugh in the airplane. You know if you have good company during the airplane journey, the journeying duration will feel shorter?

Oguchi and I were geared to our Peninsular Food Trip led by the most famous chipmunk..*ahermmmmm clears throat* Alvinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Hanged out in KL for the first few days, then we headed to Ipoh and then Penang. Penang was greattttttt… Will blog about this separately when I get the photographs from Oguchi-chan!

Overall, the trip was great! I got to meet people like Edric, Angie, Jmee, Robert, Kenin, Grace, Erina and Cheryl! Phewhhhh! Can have VCF celebration in Peninsular already! Hahaha! ^^ Not forgetting my two Ipoh friendssss, Tony and Jane! Thank you so much for meeting us up for lunchhh! And bringing me to the finest Ipoh Hor Fun stall! I won’t forget that! One more one more! Kekekeke!

We headed to Malacca as well. And had a compact one day food trip! From chicken rice balls, dim sums, cendol to ‘satay celup’! Never in history have I queued up for almost an hour for food! But it was all good cuz I was with a great bunch! And the bunch included Penguinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! So happy to be able to meet him again! Thanks Alvin! ^^

The Bak Kut Teh from Klang did not go missing on my list! First time having both dry and wet Bak Kut Teh! Yummy! ^^ And having to meet Jason, Tracy and Wai Yen on my trip as well. This is a bonus! Hehe! ^^ Thanks dear!

Blogs should not be about words only but short sentences and photos. I guess I am doing pretty bad here.. But I still have to wait for the photographs… *huhuhu*

So till then I guess! * too loos* !

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Sunrise

A beautiful moment..
It may not be the perfect sunrise..
Beautiful as it is I will cherish..

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boyceavenue

Have been so addicted to this song for the past few days.. actually for about 2 weeks d!
But still I love ittttttttttttttt!..
Sharing it with ya all...

They are known as boyceavenue from Florida. ^^
Should log in to youtube and listen to their covers!
Phewwwwwitttttttttttttttttttt! =P~

Alejandro rock on both acoustics and piano! ^^

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I shouldnt let u leave

当你决定你要离开我


我没有说什么


就当作你自由


有好几次 我都想挽留


苦求也没有用


就当作是寂寞

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surgery

Again felt the fear of cutting and stitches..
Taste of blood and solitude..
The night before I could not sleep...
Keep on awakening at odd hours

Where were you when I needed you?

T.T

Arose from my bed in the morning..
Still I can manage a smile,
Got myself ready for something I was not looking forward to.....
Drove myself to a four walled building known as the hospital..
Anxious but fearful waiting in line for my name to be called...

' Amanda Chin! '

My heart just skipped a beat..

' It's my turn? ermm.. Now? '

Met a doc/surgeon called Dr.Matt...
Explained the procedures....


*tick tock tick tock* (last 20 minutes to prepare myself emotionally and mind)


Lying helplessly, cloth-covered my body..
All I see is a bright light shining on top of me..
What a surgery room looks like?


but darker when the operation was carried out..

My mind was spinning and thinking so much..
The last time I went through this I had Mama by my side..
But now..
No one was there with me ..
to let me feel more peace and calmness with the grip of a hand..
Really needed that... but the only hand I could hold was my own.....

T.T

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EB

-E.B-

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name


The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,
'til I get over you


Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here


When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

-E.G-

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i l l

Have not been blogging since my Christmas message! A lot has happened since then. Had a really nice and warm celebration with my family. Wrapping presents, decorating our home,

'SNOW' ON OUR WINDOWS

SNOWMANNNNN ^^

playing christmas songs and also preparing finger food for the Christmas Carolers! The carolers came to our home and sang a few songs. They were friends and friends from church whom we knew for quite some time. ^^ They did really good and my family and friends truly enjoyed it.
Wanted to capture photographs and a video of them but ...

dreadful dreadful dreaddddfulllllllll... the camera was out of battery when I clicked RECORD!

sadddd.. had to use some phone camera of my sister's friend to dub the audio.. Haven heard it yet but hope it is fine. Just for memories =)

Went to Midnight mass.... Wow the church is really flooding.. Had difficulty in finding seats. But Thank God we had a place even though the view was sort of blocked, still very thankful.

I've truly missed the time when me and my friends come out to town to sing carols and spread the good news of the birth of our Lord. Felt a little twitch in the heart that actually I should have joined them because I have the opportunity to come back early. But should not regret! Hehe!

Spent those times with my dear UNO ^^

The holidays has been real good..

Christmas,
New Year,
Empowered Ball,
Beth's birthday,
Evelyn and David's Engagement Dinner,
Welcoming a new member in the family,
Meeting up with friends from Miri
and
Empowered Weekend Away.

EMPOWERED WEEKEND AWAY NOTICE BOARD

Will blogged about them soon when I get the photographs from friendssss! I brought my camera back home but I left the important thing bck in Miri!

The memory cardddddddddd!

Aiyayayayayaiiiii!

=(

Despite the happy'sssss, I had to go through some fears too.. Had to overcome some illness of my body.

Had a protocopy done and surgeon prescribed some medication for the healing and recovery.

PREPARING FOR SURGERY

To endure the pain during the operation is real suffering but I had no choice. The seconds of the aftermath of the surgery, I was shivering and in pain, felt like I loss a lot of blood. Errghhh.. Pale feeling. Had a pretty hard time, so most of the time stayed at home for speedy recovery.
Everything seems okay after that.. Was recovering and reallllll gladddd... ^^

Had the excitement to go for Empowered Weekend-Away everydayyyy.. But two days before the day came.. I felt my eyes burning of a real high degree in my body. Gave me a clue that I am getting a fever! Stucked a thermometer I got from the drawer and saw the measurement of my body temperature on the thermometer rising and rising!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! not nowww not nowwwwwwww!

=(((((((

Confirmed with a fever, I swallowed two pills of paracetamol and a pill of flu medicine and head straight to bed. I prayed that I would get well the next day. The next morning, my body felt so weak that I couldnt get up. I felt so cold and hide in my comforter. Had the air conditioner switched off and the fan.. Still I felt so cold.

=((

Swallowed more of those paracetamol. Hoping and praying to get well soon, I rested on the our living room couch the whole day. Fell asleep while watching tv, woke up when everyone was back and noticed that my eye got infected from the burning degrees of my body! Things are worseninggggggg! Help me God!

Mum and Dad asked me not to join the camp anymore because I am not gettin any better. That's so sadddddddddd! I want to go so badly! Stubbornly, I stated again that I will still be going to the camp. Determined that I will get well the next day, I slept earlier again after swallowing pills. The next day I woke up, excited about the camp, I packed my things but something stopped me. I felt the sudden pain in my throat when I tried to speak to someone at home. There is just no sound coming out ! I lost my voiceeeeeee! =(

Mum insisted that I had to see a doctor if I want to go for this camp. So I did. Had antibiotics prescribed for me, muco-slavans and eye infection drops. Took all this with me to the camp. Diligently I took these medication so I'd get well.

......Camp details postponed to another post....

I didnt get well if you want to know. Had to came back earlier than camp schedule. My family came up all the way to Serian-Ranchan to pick me up and send me to the hospital. That was like 50km away from the Kuching itself. And it was like 1++ am when they arrived. Hmmm...

Still taking my medication till now.. Pray to get better as soon as possible! =(


**Sorry for the low quality photographs as these were all taken by my Samsung phone camera**

p/s: will post some more when I get the photographs from the camera.

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Random

Just my random post today..

The cute little couple magnet from Matt and Cathy's place...

Were the only magnets on their new refrigerator in their brand new house!

This couple is rated by me to have the ' CUTE-X-FACTOR '

Their love story is a fairy tale come true....
Their wedding are of princes and princesses!..
Now waiting for ehem ehem ehemmmmm.... ^^

Little Matts and Little Cathiesssss =P~

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