Timetable

My timetable especially for my mama.. *teehees!*

Like Garfield always saysssssssssssssss ...

" I hate MONDAYS !! "

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regrets

I understand my weakness and acknowledge my faults in life..I know I am not able to please everyone in every way I am now..In every 10 I meet, there would always be 1 that probably I could only please.

" The tongue is sharper than a sword "

Sometimes I wish to return to my old self..Was a loner for the years of my high school..I guess I was pretty much happier then! Don't have to .. involve myself in complicated matters that tears out my heart.. tear in pain and sorrow at lonely nights.. regret for the words I've spoken of.. be paranoid of others talking about you.. participate in 'bad' conversations.. walk around with my head tilted down to the floor
But just live life happily! and SMILE even when things go wrong!
Had only one friend that I could seek for when I'm in need of someone to share a little span of my life with.. She has an uncountable amount of friends, so I had only few hours with herevery week. And this girl is my best friend for life. Love every single bit of her!
" I think about you everyday even thought its just a second or two "
Our human weakness is we get so carried away in conversations which tendto make us talk about others. And it's seriously non-beneficial but risk taking, crucially hazardous and fatal. Backstabbing has always been hottest gadget in our lives. Why do I say hottest? Well, how does hot relate to our after death?
Backstabbing. Why does it have to happen ? Why does the word even existed?Or.. does the word really existed?
The answer is NO.. There is no such word as backstabbing.
The origin of this word is from the word

" Back-biting "

According to the Oxford Dictionary,
Back-biting defines an unpleasant and unkind talk about somebody who is not present.
Now, is this category in the field of sociology?
In today's world, YES!
Although we say we do not backbite but we do talk about others right?Therefore, we need to be careful of the words spoken through our mouth.Words spoken can never and I say never ever be taken back. Which means, there is no such thing as
" I take back my words.. " Therefore does that mean in life, you can choose either to be the prey or the victim..?You might be able to control yourself but can you control others? The answer is clear..its a NO!
I can never learn the lesson that has been happening over and over in my life.How many times in life have I been so stubborn not to listen to the advices given to me..

" Trust no one but the Lord and yourself "

can the past be turn back time?

My mind runs...
Should I confront my problems and resolve them?
Helping myself to understand them and let them understand me?
Ask for forgiveness and never mention about them anymore?
Seek for a healthier social life and easing of pain?
Should I forget the past and get on with my life?

My mind speaks...
of the priorities in my life..
of the wonderful and meaningful things..
of the times I really cherished with them..

My mind saddens..
of the times I've disappoint them..
of the times I've let them down..
of the times knowing they are speaking of me..
of the friendship that was lost..
of the care and love that can never be regain..
of the looks from a stranger but not a friend..
I believe that my life is not any different than others..

Others claimed that life sucks when they are in times of trouble..In times of happiness, in times of belonging.. those fears are gone..Why not vanish those fears and live life happily?

Easy for me to say.. I know.. =P~
But,

" With the Lord, All things are possible! " Amen!

" Why ponder on memories that saddens when you have an ever-flowing of happiness coming in your way? "

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1 2 3 Days in Miri

Kept this in my laptop since the first day I arrived in Miri after my long holidays of three months.. Haven't got my internet installed yet in the new house here. So suffering. Thought I should post it up in school before this post stinks!

Day One in Miri

Arrived in Miri safely, despite the weird feeling I had in the planeand the full human-loaded plane. It was a squeezy feeling as I was sitting in between two other passengers, one a uncomrfortably looking big guy and also another prettylady in white. My hands were tire out because of the heavy hand-luggageI brought. A bag full of books !*aikSs!* and a heavy laptop with a few other items in there (hdd,phone,mp3 player,wallet,baby camcam,microphone,earphones) Needa get those books over, if not it would never be read! Gee! I seldom ..erm can say never successfully read a book at home. Maybe 'some'.

When I was a kid, Enid Blyton or R.L Stine never failed to keep me awake at nights finishing them.probably. =P~
On the way up the plane, the heavy bag was a torture I wishedI had the strength of a man. I wished I had a friend, a man. I wished the bag would be lighter. I wished someone could help me. I hear my arm musclesscreaming out of torture.=( On the flight up the AirAsia stairs was the mostterrible moments! Prayed that it would soon be over if not I'll end up getting over the top of my head till the ends of my feet and fall backwards.Again on the plane,getting my bag on top of overhad compartment was disasterous! I can't!wanted to cry already cause my whole arms were trembling. Need some helphere ! *sobs* Before I broke down to tears of how useless I am, I asked for assistance frm the air-stewardess who stood by me watchingme! She cannot see I had problems getting the bag on top! *sigh*Enough said.

I had a book with me ' The Keeper' by Sarah Langan read itfrom the moment the plane departed till it arrived. ^^ So the journeydidnt felt as long as the strings of 'long-life noodles'. =P~*sigh* Have to get my bag down now, I was blessed by God's embrace!The guy next to me could see how short I am! And how vulnerable!He asked me if he could help me.. So nice! Thank you, guy! =)Still I wished I had your strength! Ha ha! Fredda was outside waiting forme as I got hold of my check-in luggage. Jody and Angeline at the car waiting for us. Thanks girls for the welcoming back to Miri from the airport!

Arrived in the hall of the church, saw everyone practicing in their own instruments! Watched helplessly because I couldn't play any of them,I cannot sing as well. *sighhh* Despite the dissappointment I hadfor myself of not polishing any musical talent, I put on a smile for everyone. Went home straight and unpacked.

Robert and Oja wantedto watch a movie together in my room. Initially we watched'Children of Men' but it was soooooo boring and slow. Lazy to listen.Fredda joined in. Everyone was almost half asleep, a quarter not listening at all! The other 3 quarters I have no idea? =P~We changed the movie to ' Night In The Museum ' which Robert, Fredda and I myself have already watched.Fredda was fast asleep! And I was feeling groggy already! Fell asleep and awoken several times!Anyway, that's the end of day one in Miri. I wrote a short journal!Oh my! *sigh*
The aftermath of carrying heavy-loaded bags without much fitness and exercise of the body, a painful sore arm screaming *ouchhhhhhhh* !

2nd day in Miri

2nd day in Miri passed so quickly. Doing nothing but washing and hanging out at home and to the church watching friends play the musical instruments again. *sigh* Went to get a RM 2.99 doormat for myself! *teehees*My arm still hurts as much. We had a small gathering at Uncle David'sthat night. 10 of us departed from Senadin to his house. Had a quick introduction and some Chinese New Year tit-bits and then we kicked offwith the food on the table. * We thank God for the food on the table,and we ask You to bless them and bless the people who had the food prepared. We ask You to nourish our body as we eat to be rich in health to praise You. Amen! * Lolx ! I guess everyone forgotten about that(prayer),cause we were too hungry. Hmm..

Chit chats, brief games and sing along.The night felt really long to me, cause I didn't feel too well.Felt like something was eating me from the inside. It hurt so badly,I could hardly sing. Had breathing complications. When I breath in theair, my stomach would hurt even more. End up sitting on the stairs,concentrating on the pain and thinking of how to reduce it.Ended up, it worsen. Hurts till I cried. I had gastric.I'm so sorry to everyone I cannot join in. Not like I don't want to.I felt sorry to Hwei Ching, Oja and Gloria also. Had to 'jaga' this troublesome girl. *sigh* You girls should have just go and have fun cause I'll be alright soon.. I hope!..Took a gastric pill whichdidn't help much at the moment. The night at Uncle David'sended, for me it was a painful one but still it was great.. Thanks for Unc David and family! Robert had to drive us home,cuz I was still in pain. Thanks Robert! Went straight to bed when I got home. It was only 10.45 pm!

The earliest ever I've slept!Night people! Loves!

3rd day in Miri

3rd DayI'm awake the next day at 4.41 a.m. ! Earliest ever! Lolx! Felt refreshed! But I can still feel the pain..Took out my bedsheet to wash .. *heh!* And now I'm here typing the first 3-day journal of the days in Miri.

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