surgery

Again felt the fear of cutting and stitches..
Taste of blood and solitude..
The night before I could not sleep...
Keep on awakening at odd hours

Where were you when I needed you?

T.T

Arose from my bed in the morning..
Still I can manage a smile,
Got myself ready for something I was not looking forward to.....
Drove myself to a four walled building known as the hospital..
Anxious but fearful waiting in line for my name to be called...

' Amanda Chin! '

My heart just skipped a beat..

' It's my turn? ermm.. Now? '

Met a doc/surgeon called Dr.Matt...
Explained the procedures....


*tick tock tick tock* (last 20 minutes to prepare myself emotionally and mind)


Lying helplessly, cloth-covered my body..
All I see is a bright light shining on top of me..
What a surgery room looks like?


but darker when the operation was carried out..

My mind was spinning and thinking so much..
The last time I went through this I had Mama by my side..
But now..
No one was there with me ..
to let me feel more peace and calmness with the grip of a hand..
Really needed that... but the only hand I could hold was my own.....

T.T